Questions

One of the best ways to let someone know you are listening to them is to ask good questions about the topic being discussed. A good question is one where the answer is not obvious. A bad question leaves everyone wondering if you were just waiting for your turn to speak.

People usually ask bad questions when they are caught by surprise. If someone wasn't focused on the discussion, and they are asked directly "Do you have any questions," they will tend to come up with whatever question they can think of to avoid revealing they were not paying attention. These types of desperate questions can often be pointless, irritating, or absurd.

Asking a question like, "When does this project need to be done," after a presentation that explicitly mentions the project's due date shows everyone that you were not paying attention. Whether intentional or not, this demonstrates a sense of entitlement, as you felt that you did not have to listen to the speaker, but now the speaker must answer your question.

Another version of a bad question is a "gotcha" style question intentionally designed to catch the speaker off-guard. These are typically used by people who want to impress their peers, and who believe that making the speaker look foolish makes them look smart.

Besides potentially embarrassing the speaker - and possibly ruining any future collaborative partnership you may have with them - it shows that either you were not listening, you were not interested in the topic being presented, or simply don't have any respect for the person speaking. Further, most people can tell when a question's only goal was to embarrass the speaker, which will do more damage to your reputation than to theirs.

Another contributor to people asking bad questions is that it can be hard to think of good questions. Formulating a good question requires not only that you were listening carefully, but also that you were processing and analyzing what was being said in real time. It then requires a good enough memory or note taking skills to either remember or write down your question so that it could be asked later at the appropriate time.

Depending on if you are in a conversation, meeting, or presentation, there tend to be different rules on when questions should be asked. In a casual conversation, you can ask a question anytime you like. In a meeting, sometimes the meeting's facilitator controls the timing of when questions should be asked, either by asking questions themselves, or asking people in the room to share their opinion.

In a presentation, usually the speaker informs the audience on when they would like to be asked questions, which can be at any time, or only at the end. If the speaker does not share their preference, it is usually a good idea to wait until their presentation is over. This gives the speaker the opportunity to have preemptively answered questions they anticipated people would have, rather than be constantly interrupted.

If you've thought of a good question, but the speaker eventually answers it by sharing the relevant information, or by answering someone else's question, then there is no reason to ask your question. This can be disappointing to someone who worked hard to think of a good question, as it was their chance to demonstrate their real-time analytical skills. However, if a question has already been answered, it doesn't have to be asked again.

Whenever you are in a group setting and have a good question, but the answer to that question is only relevant to you, it is often better to wait until after the presentation is over and ask the speaker your question one-on-one. This is just a courtesy to your peers, to avoid wasting their time listening to an answer that is not relevant to them.

There is a school of thought that the true value of a presentation is the questions it inspires, and that if a presentation failed to yield good questions, it wasn't a very good presentation. However, a very good presentation anticipates and preemptively answers questions the audience might have. This can be done throughout the presentation, or by adding slides to the end with prepared answers to anticipated questions.

There are times when it is not a good idea to ask a question, no matter how good it is. One case is when the speaker is clearly nervous, overwhelmed, or underprepared, and most likely could not provide an answer no matter how hard they might try. Therefore, when asking questions, take careful note of how confidently the presenter is presenting the information. Confident speakers tend to be ready for questions, whereas timid speakers are not.

This situation should be considered carefully, as a timid speaker, clearly having trouble with even simple questions, may still have critical gaps in the information they are presenting that need to be filled to avoid misleading the audience. This creates a conflict between what is best for the speaker, and what is best for the group. In cases such as these, it may be better to wait to ask your question one-on-one after the presentation, and then ask them to send follow-up corrections or clarifications to the people who were in attendance.

If you ever find yourself in the position of being asked a good question, but not knowing the answer, all you have to say is, "I don't know, but I will find out and get back to you by..." and then be precise about when exactly you will get back to them, which might be by the end of the day, by tomorrow, by the end of the week, or next week. The key is to commit to finding an answer by a certain time, and then providing that answer before that time expires.

This satisfies most reasonable people, as it is not reasonable to think that someone would always be able to instantly come up with the perfect answer for any question. Quite often, the better the question, the more time someone may need to come up with an answer, so asking for a bit of time may actually be expected.