Context

When you listen to someone speak, you should consider the context in which they are speaking, as without taking context into account, it is possible to completely misinterpret what someone is saying.

The phrase, "Taken out of context," often relates to the unfair representation of what someone said in an attempt to deliberately tarnish their reputation. Though unethical, this technique works because if we sample what someone is saying out of context, the meaning of what they are saying can be completely changed.

If someone is quoted as saying, "I don't mind breaking the rules so long as I get what I want," out of context, you would rightly think that this person is egotistical, self-centered, and selfish. In the full context of, "When I am creating a piece of art, I don't mind breaking the rules so long as I get what I want," now the person is an eccentric artist passionate about their craft.

In literature, audio, or video, context typically refers to the content that comes before and after whatever is being communicated. While in a professional setting, the context in which someone is communicating is usually situational such as the people involved, when a discussion is happening, where it is happening, the topics being discussed, and previous events.

If your project just missed an important deadline, while that realization is fresh in everyone's mind, every conversation that is had about the project shares that context. When people believed the project was on schedule, if a colleague came to you and said, "Let me know if I can do anything to help," they may just be making a casual offer of assistance. However, once people have realized the project is late, your colleague may be afraid of missing the next deadline and be implying that you need help, whether you realize it or not.

To add even more context, if you had recently spoken to your colleague about feeling overwhelmed, then them offering to help may be an attempt to relieve some of the pressure you may be feeling. If you had also mentioned that the project might be late unless certain actions were taken, and those actions were not taken, perhaps the offer to help is really an offer to collaborate as to how not to miss future deadlines.

When big events happen - such as with the unpleasant realization that a project missed its deadline - then the context of a conversation or discussion is usually obvious. However, there can also be more subtle contexts that overlap and interact with each other. Understanding what these various contexts are, how they overlap, and how they may be interacting, is a critical listening skill, especially when many people are involved.

Company meetings are an example of overlapping and interacting contexts and require that you listen to not just what is said, but the context under which it is being said. At a company meeting, usually everyone in attendance has a job title, a job function, a manager, a team, and a project. While everyone knows this information, only a very careful listener is conscious of how each of these attributes contextualizes everything each person says.

For example, if an intern says, "This project is doing great," it carries a very different meaning than if a long-standing executive says, "This project is doing great." The same thing is said, but how these statements should be interpreted changes dramatically based on who is saying it. The intern probably doesn't have the experience to know how the project is doing, and so sounds a bit foolish, whereas the executive is signaling that they are very happy, which is never a bad thing for the people that work for them.

Furthermore, a meeting that has both an intern and an executive can cause their contexts to overlap and interact. Usually, interns say little in the presence of an executive, so if an intern speaks up, they may be ambitious, overly excited, or they may not yet have learned appropriate professional meeting protocols.

If the intern says, "I like working here," in the context of a meeting with an executive, they may be trying to let the executive know that they are interested in being offered a full-time position. However, if the executive replies, "Good to know," the context of this conversation may indicate that they think the intern is overly ambitious, presumptuous, opinionated, or even arrogant. As there is no way to precisely pin down exactly what either person is trying to communicate, all we can do is use contextual clues that offer hints as to what each is trying to say.

Within group meetings there are also overlapping and interacting contexts including authority, influence, responsibilities, expertise, reputation, and at-work friendships. All of these can color how you might interpret what someone is saying beyond what is actually said.

Once you become comfortable using context to interpret what someone may be saying, you must be careful to avoid the trap of ignoring what they are literally saying. While there are many times where context is necessary to fully understand what someone is trying to communicate, there are also many times where what someone is saying should be taken at face value.

If someone asks, "What time is the meeting," and you begin to weave together all of the possible overlapping and interacting contexts that might inform you as to their true meaning, you might miss the fact that all they want to know is what time the meeting starts. Sometimes, simple statements are simple statements, and simple questions are simple questions.

Though paying attention to context is an important part of listening, remember that it is inaccurate, and therefore can be misleading. Do your best to not make too many assumptions, and if it is appropriate, ask clarifying questions if you feel you are having to rely on context more than necessary.

Too often - even in professional settings - people are passive in their communication, which then places the burden on the listener to find clues as to what they are saying. As a professional, it is often best to simply ask someone to clarify what they are saying, so as to eliminate the chance of a miscommunication. Contextual clues might be helpful, but they should be used only when you are unable to ask someone precisely what they mean, or when they seem to be unable to articulate what they want to say.

Generally, the safest bet is to be assertive, and to encourage people to be assertive when speaking with you. The fewer contextual clues you have to use, the more accurately you will be able to interpret what someone is trying to say, and the fewer chances there will be for misinterpretations.