Etiquette

Professional etiquette refers to a collection of behaviors that are expected in a professional work environment. While there are no official rules for what specifically constitutes professional etiquette, experienced professionals are nonetheless expected to exhibit these behaviors.

Professional etiquette is an extension of general politeness and common courtesy. For example, it is commonly regarded as polite to say "please" when asking for something, "thanks" when receiving something, and to say "sorry" when you have made a mistake. However, these words have become so overused, that in a professional work environment they are often interpreted as being trite, hackneyed, or even passive-aggressive.

For example, consider someone saying, "I'm sorry you don't think you have enough time, but if you could please get me the reports by Monday I would appreciate it, thanks." While in theory this statement should be polite, in practice it comes across as quite rude.

Instead of saying "please," "thanks," and "sorry," we might have instead said, "I didn't set realistic expectations for when the reports should be done, which is my fault. Let me know if there's any way to have the reports ready by Monday, and if so, let me know if there is anything I can do to help."

Another area of everyday politeness that finds its way into professional etiquette is the simple act of greeting people you already know, and introducing yourself to strangers.

For example, if you saw a colleague walking down a hallway with someone you didn't know, as you approach, you should make eye contact with both of them, give them a smile and a wave, and say, "Good morning," and then turn to the stranger and say, "Hi there, I'm Sam. How are you?" while extending a hand for a handshake.

Handshakes are an important international tradition in professional greetings, and in most cases should be offered when greeting someone or introducing yourself. However, giving a good handshake is an art form that takes quite a bit of practice to master.

Giving a good handshake can be broken up into five stages: Offer, Contact, Grip, Shake, and Break.

Offering a handshake is simply holding out an open hand, thumb up, a little above waist level. If someone does not offer to meet your handshake by raising their hand to meet yours, you may need to abandon the handshake by lowering and closing your hand, and simply giving them a quick smile and a nod.

Contact happens when both people's hands first touch, which should be when the space between the index finger and thumb comes together solidly with theirs at the same time. The key is not to bash into the other person's hand, or make them come to your motionless hand, but for both hands to come together at a point roughly between each of you - the hands should not make contact very close to you, very far from them, or vice versa.

Immediately following contact, comes the grip, and if your initial contact was correct both palms should already be touching, such that when your hand closes it should wrap around their palm and not their fingers. You should keep your palm firm, so that it won't be crushed by the other person's grip, as not doing so will result in what is called a "dead fish handshake," which is a limp hand that can feel quite a bit odd. As much as possible you should try to match the grip strength of the other person. If they grip you lightly, you should do the same. If they grip you tightly, you should return in kind, making sure that your hand is not crushed, but neither is theirs. You should also make sure not to pull the person towards you, and instead try to keep the hands roughly the same distance between both of you - not too far, but not too close either.

The "shake" aspect of the handshake can be anything from a vigorous up-and-down to hardly any motion at all. You should do your best to follow the lead of the other person, such that if they are shaking up and down so should you, but if they are motionless, you should be motionless as well.

The break - or when you stop shaking hands by letting go of the other person - should happen as soon as you feel the other person's grip loosening, as it is better to have a handshake that is too short than one too long. If you suspect that a handshake is going for too long, you should initiate the break.

Progressing through the stages of a handshake should happen nearly instantly, such that it becomes one quick continuous action. With practice this will become instinctive, and will be a very handy skill to have throughout your career, especially at business networking events or when meeting customers.

In addition to expressing the sentiments of please, thanks, and sorry; and greeting people you already know, introducing yourself to strangers, and having a good handshake; professional etiquette also includes being gracious towards your colleagues, which includes acknowledging their presence and accomplishments, being considerate of how your actions affect them, and being respectful of their property, privacy, and personal space.

Acknowledging our colleagues includes behaviors such as: welcoming them to a meeting, congratulating them on reaching an important milestone, and making eye contact when they are speaking to you.

For example, if there was a meeting announcing a colleague's promotion, you should applaud when it is announced, and directly after the meeting, you should approach your colleague one-on-one, offer to shake their hand, and say "Congratulations on your promotion!"

Being considerate of your colleagues includes behaviors such as not interrupting them when they are speaking, not disturbing them when they are working, and not being noisy when someone is trying to concentrate.

For example, if you knew that your colleague was working hard to meet a deadline, it would not be considerate to have a loud conversation right next to them, or interrupt them with questions when you see that they are clearly trying to work. Instead, you should allow them to work in peace, and send them an email or text asking them to let you know when they are free to answer a few questions.

Respecting someone's property, privacy, and personal space is something that can be easy to forget, especially while working in a collaborative work environment.

For example, if you wanted to collaborate with a colleague, and you walked up to their desk, sat on their desk, moved their personal items around to make space for yourself, leaned towards them such that the two of you were practically touching, and proceeded to skim their email inbox, you would be violating their property, privacy, and personal space all at the same time. Instead, you should ask them if they have a moment, and if they say they do, you might ask if you could pull over a chair, and then sit far enough away to be sure that you were not invading their personal space, while resisting the urge to glance at their screen.

By practicing professional etiquette and consistently demonstrating courtesy and thoughtfulness, you will set a positive example that encourages others to follow suit, ultimately contributing to a more harmonious and productive workplace.