Professionalism.guideA practical framework for working well with others

Speaking up

How to give constructive feedback to a peer

A colleague's work or behavior is causing a problem, and you are not their manager. This guide helps you decide what is worth raising, say it well, hear their side, and leave the next step with them.

14 topics · 79 min · Press play to listen in order, or read any topic.

Critique

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Phase 1 · 5 topics · 29 min

Decide what is worth raising, and when

Not everything that bothers you is feedback. Separate what affects the work from what is only different from how you would do it, then choose your moment.

  1. Understand what makes critique of a colleague's work useful: it is specific, it is about the work, and it is meant to help them.

    5:15 Read

  2. Ask how you would want to hear this if the positions were reversed. That answer is a reliable guide to what to say and how.

    5:36 Read

  3. Think about who you are speaking to. How direct to be, and how much cushioning is needed, depends on the person.

    5:46 Read

  4. Choose a time when they can take it in: soon after the event, in private, and not when either of you is rushed.

    5:11 Read

  5. Follow the unwritten rule that criticism is given privately. Raising it in front of others turns help into embarrassment.

    6:56 Read

Your taskBefore continuing, name one specific example and its effect, and decide when and where you will raise it.

Phase 2 · 6 topics · 33 min

Say it and hear their side

Describe what you saw, then find out what you are missing. You have seen the effect, not the cause.

  1. Describe what you observed and what it led to. Vague hints leave the other person unsure what, if anything, you are asking for.

    5:44 Read

  2. Choose words that keep them listening. The aim is for the message to be heard, and defensiveness prevents that.

    5:24 Read

  3. Ask what led to the choice. There may be a constraint or an instruction you knew nothing about.

    5:24 Read

  4. Say back what you heard and let them correct it. People accept suggestions more readily from someone who has understood them.

    5:53 Read

  5. Consider how the situation looks from their position. Their experience may explain a decision that seemed careless from yours.

    5:20 Read

  6. Notice how they are reacting as you talk. If they are hurt or embarrassed, slow down before you add anything more.

    5:30 Read

Your taskBefore continuing, write your first two sentences, and be ready to explain their reasoning in a way they would agree with.

Phase 3 · 3 topics · 17 min

Suggest a next step and let them own it

You are a peer, so the change is theirs to make. Offer help, not instructions.

  1. Ask what help, if any, they would like. The support a person wants is often different from the support you would assume.

    5:29 Read

  2. Check whether part of what bothered you is simply their way of working. A harmless difference in style is not something to fix.

    5:48 Read

  3. Give the change time. Raising the same point again a few days later tells them you did not trust them to act on it.

    6:03 Read

Your taskFinish by agreeing on one thing that will be different, and offer one concrete way you can help.